Some things people benefit, when engaging relationship / couples counselling / therapy:
Establishing a healthy relationship
Re-establishing a healthy relationship
Exploring relational avoidances and intimacy
Becoming aware of and breaking free from the hurtful cycle/s of past emotional wounding/s
Improving co-communication and understanding how and why what is happening happens (embodied reactivities)
Generating calmer communications
Working through a difficult time in a safe way
Improving the co-relational quality that impacts health, and the children it impacts
Making difficult choices to reject the problem situation, change or create the relationship end, in the healthiest possible way
About Relationship / Couples Counselling
& Intimacy From the Inside Out Therapy
People have many ideas about what relationship counselling is and can think that counselling is only required when things have become overly intense. However, counselling can assist in virtually any relational situation people experience, and it can also boost an already healthy relationship. For many people what seems most trivial, unknown, unspeakable can become the difference that really helps them make the most of their relationship.
If the same issues are recurring from relation to relation there is a system maintaining that - working with it in anew way changes the relational quality.
People might decide to come to couples counselling with their partner or alone. Otherwise, they may attend with a combination of solo and couple sessions.
Relationship counselling / therapy helps couples, married or not, partners or not, friends understand and resolve disputes, conflicts, and usually improves their relational system. As each person brings their own needs, values and expectations into the relationship - similarities and differences can become increasingly apparent.
At times, these aspects can cause relational stresses, emotional cut-off, or a sense that “something has changed”, and maybe cloud who they really are as a person. There may be a particular concern that bothers people and this in-turn may really push at the limits of the relationship. Relationship counselling can be useful to resolve these disputes, conflicts, frustrations, or even traumas.
Relationship therapy often elicits the qualities of the clients truest nature together with discovering and healing the relational interactive inner parts of experience that clients interact with and from. By engaging and practicing skills, manging the way they process and respond towards these similarities and differences, transformations can begin.
Systemic Couples Therapy (IFIO-T) can help to re-build or further develop relationships by experientially realizing, by seeing what inner realities generate what is happening within the relational interactions - patterns. These patterns are a many/& reality that involve both the parties in the relationship dual. Furthermore, counselling assists acknowledgement of how each others inner parts influence the avoidance of a relationship's meaningful interactions. From here this can be acknowledged in a safe manner to assist gentle changes towards improved relational qualities via co creation and intimate co connection.
In relationship counselling therapeutic change happens with the counsellors interventions between interactions - co-creating new ones with compassion.
Sometimes couples arrive at a place where they use counselling to decide, for themselves, if they would better benefit by either continuing together or by separating. Counselling, in this context, can also be useful to maintain or assist a healthy relation within and post separation. People chose this for the benefit of themselves and to work with and understand how what is happening impacts their lives e.g. children.
With the assistance of an unbiased third party professional who can facilitate the relational landscape, couples can process with ways towards the unknown, in a useful and beneficial way. Rather than people continuing to struggle with-in their usual systemic binds and limitations (epistemology) – counselling offers the skills of generating grasp and perspectives of the subtle contexts along with reactive patterns. Many couples find this relational triangle very insightful, enriching, and useful. Useful in a way that helps them see what they cannot see and know about their selves and their relationship, to say what they have not or could not, in a healthy way, to then find new approaches and relational intimacy.
Furthermore relationship counselling / therapy can involve exploring and understanding how individuals and couples use communication and how the effect of these contexts impact towards relational affect, on mass. The experiential nature helps towards clients seeing into their blind spots and gain insight to realize ways to communicate the difficult aspects more effectively - maybe by each individually re-positioning from a more appropriated way via updating their emotive force and views. A wider systemic view of the existing information that comes about by engaging counselling is invaluable. Couples in counselling usually learn to listen with more depth and clarity, to each other, rather than avoid or win over the other whilst missing the connection and values of any active aspects that inform, impact and make requests to the relational system. Counselling, then, assists relational resilience with difference, this can involve re-positioning towards healthy true-self differentiation; it aims towards generating a valued meaningful clarity of relational quality for the persons attending.
Additionally, I have trained in:
Intimacy From the Inside Out Therapy - IFIO-T.
IFIO is a systemic based practice that assists people to work with and through relational difficulties in a way that is safe, intimate, compassionate, and simply amazing way to co create what IFIO-T courageous communications.
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